5 Things I learned in 2015
As the new year approaches we're all pretty consumed with the boulders on our shoulders deal. Everyone is trying to figure out how they're going to achieve goals or trying to figure out if they have any. I have never set a New Year's resolution and if I did then I can guarantee that I forgot it in less than a week. My biggest revelation happened in July of this year. That's 7 months into the year. I could definitely save this blog for July and call it my New Year's post, but I think that I will join in with the calendar most widely used by those around me. I only spent a few months of this year doing some new things and I pat myself on the back for it pretty hard because even one new thing a year is a lot. We are all bogged down with huge responsibilities. In the world of us normal people we have a lot to do in order to make life work. The main thing that I learned was to slow down and focus on me and what I love. My future is for me. So here are some things that I had to pause and tell myself over half way through the year. Instead doing things that don't make sense this New Year's just have a good time and let the revelations come when they come.
Here are some things that I had to re-learn with this phase of my life:
1. Don't beat yourself up.
Example 1: One of my biggest faults against myself is that I am a lot quicker to call myself stupid than I am to call myself smart. So if you're like me and you're not the type of person who has always said, "I am so smart," when you do something right then become that person. You think to yourself all day long. Start thinking positively. Substitute your favorite negative thought with something good that speaks to you and wakes you up inside. Sounds cheesy, but it feels great.
2. Read self help books.
If you're like me and you were running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, but not feeling any better about anything then I dare you to Google self help books and read the ones that relate to you. I had a couple of people scoff at my self help books, but a good friend of mine advised it and I tried it. She was right about them. I ended up buying four. I read four self help books between July and December and I wish I had another one to start right now. I love being motivated by others who have experience in what I'm going through. There is nothing as satisfying as sitting down and focusing on making yourself feel better. Life is short and if you are as stressed as I was then you need more of your own laughter, you need to feel your mouth smiling without forcing it.
3. Stop judging.
Whether it is yourself, other people, or both. Knock it the f- off. Chances are if you're judging anyone then you are definitely judging yourself the most. It's one of those acts in life that is a vicious cycle. Your brain is being wasted. Insecurities make us this way. It's not confidence, it's deprecating.
Be happy for you, be happy for other people. Be happy for other people, be happy for you.
4. Do life at your own pace.
It is possible to smile through the tough times. We all know that. However, I briefly found myself not being able to do it this year. It was a shitty time. I didn't know what had changed with myself and the only way that I found out was to use my free time on me. If you're not getting to know yourself as you're going through changes and growing then you might end up doing what I did and coming to a quick halt wondering what the hell happened. It feels sort of like you left your phone in the bathroom of the place you are on the road away from. Panic attack, am I right? You're just riding down the road like you're missing a limb and then you realize where you left it and that you might not get it back. Do life at your own pace and make sure not to lose parts of you that you love.
5. Only take good advice.
There are so many reasons you are being eaten away at. There are so many reasons to feel criticized, but you have to take what's good for you and run with it and leave the rest behind. I feel like I was getting a lot of people spewing passive aggressive bullshit, slanted manipulations. Maybe it's not subtle, maybe you're scrolling through Fuck Jerry's Instagram account trolling so hard you're crying and then you get to a meme that hits you like a ton of bricks and your hysterical laughter turns to tears and you're like, "fuck Instagram," but you don't mean it and you get back on three days later. It's okay to feel hurt when the whole world is constantly poking at each other's most tender faults, but I think that we can all say we're learning to laugh at ourselves. Don't let other people tell you what you want or what your life needs. You're the only person who knows what is good for you. Always take other's criticism/"advice" with a grain of salt.
Those are the main things that I had to focus on in the last few months. If you get into a pattern of beating yourself up to make yourself what others want life get's pretty crappy so brush all of that off and enjoy yourself.
In other news,
I have two ladies who will be joining me for my New Year's post and we will be sharing our outfit ideas for celebrating the coming of 2016. So keep a look out for my new contributors and blog changes!