There are two very important poems that are going to follow this post, and I feel like they need a preface of sorts. I recently began to uncover ways that I am completely different from the community I was raised in. I was raised in a great family with parents who instilled very important values in me. I know they truly made me into the person I am today. However, the community I was raised in made me believe things that were not healthy for me at all, or for anyone in my future. There was a set of "values" that were very strictly enforced. If the truths you held close inside your soul differed from those "values" then you were automatically wrong and was given this concrete evidence as to why. This resulted in me hiding any way that I was different from those beliefs; it was so exhausting. I consistently went to a place where I knew I didn't belong. My anxiety level would sky rocket, knowing that something wasn't right but too naive to know what.
I automatically began to suppress all of my feelings. Especially if they were against some almighty path. I made choices based on what others wanted. I chose only to express feelings that would be accepted. It was extremely unhealthy, and more psychological than I would have ever imagined. I'm now uncovering the damage, and picking up the debris. All I know at this point is I choose to no longer hide my feelings. Feelings are not wrong, they're you. I wish I got this so long ago, but I didn't. My first step in trying to reverse the damage done is by not apologizing for how I feel. I also plan on acknowledging my feelings head on, and working through them. Let's get started.