Too Late To Apologize?
I think it’s safe to say most of us go through life with someone who enforces others to give us an apology when we are owed one. In school, it was the teacher, at home with siblings it was your parent or guardian. It was also much more clear as children who owed the apology to whom. Everything gets way more complicated as an adult. When we become adults, we no longer have enforcers who make people apologize to us. There’s no one mapping out the situation for you, enforcer style. For me, I quickly realized that I had to somehow grieve others’ lack of remorse, and protect myself from repeat offenders. It was a rude awakening.
Waiting for an apology that seems to be on back order is a different type of pain. The package also comes with a mix of emotions as well. If you’re feeling like me, or have felt like this before, I wish I could tell you that I have a step by step process that will take away all of your hurt and confusion. I’m trying to figure that out myself, and if I do I’ll let you know. I wish there were magic words that would make someone admit their guilt towards you, but unfortunately there aren’t any. I do hope, however, that knowing someone understands how you feel will bring you some sort of comfort. The main thing I’ve found that helps me thus far is leaning on those amazing people in my life who make every day better. You know, the ones who keep you laughing? They’re important. Keep them and cherish them. Also, someone much wiser than me recently gave me some pretty amazing advice: you can’t control how people treat you. You can control how you react to it, however. They also told me that that old saying about karma? It’s a real thing. What we give out into the world, comes right back to us. When others wrong us they will be reminded of it, and there will always be consequences.
Despite your hurt, there will still be happy days that will outweigh the bad ones times a thousand. You will still laugh until you cry, and be filled with hope. No one is allowed to steal your joy.
I cannot wait to see the person I become after this. Stronger and more confident than ever. <3